New Treatment Kills Cancer Cells From 500 Yards Away

Doctors and big pharma don’t want you to know this but a new treatment can blow away tumors from 500 yards away.  An investigation revealed that with the right aim this treatment is guaranteed to kill cancer cells with 100% effectiveness.

The miracle cure is being produced by a company named Armalite and it is already on sale on the open market in most of the United States (although many places still require a background check that includes mental health history before it can be given out).

The name of the treatment?

The AR-15 rifle.

By M62 – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

Shoot a cancer patient with one and all cancer cells in their body are guaranteed to die (along with all their other cells, an unfortunate side-effect).

Don’t want to pay full price?  Generic and knockoff versions are also available, most notably the Russian AK-74 or the Chinese Type 56 (note that these haven’t been approved by the FDA [1]).

What?

Did you expect a small, unknown website to have real information about a secret new way to treat cancer?

Here’s a secret for you: most articles pushing miracle cancer cures are based on preliminary research that proved something can kill cancer cells in a petri dish.  That’s not very hard to do: burning cancer cells, freezing them, poisoning them… all of those will kill cancer cells quite nicely.

The problem is when those cancer cells are still inside a person.  These treatments will kill the patient too (just like an AR-15 would).

Developing real and working cures for all various types of cancer that exist is a long process that takes years of study and experimentation to make absolutely sure the side-effects of the cure don’t kill the patient.

Always be skeptical when you see a website pushing “alternative” ways of curing something.  Often these remedies have not been tested and they may not even be effective.  And the sites pushing them might just be trying to earn some advertising money by exploiting desperate people.

Don’t fall for it!

Notes:

[1] The AR-15 hasn’t been approved by the FDA as a treatment for cancer either.