WASHINGTON – Pundits on both sides of the political spectrum were thrown into confusion after a transgender muslim waitress at a Christian-themed restaurant refused to serve a gay wedding cake to an African-American republican who was marrying his Hispanic boyfriend last weekend.

There was nothing but stunned silence from pundits on both sides of the political spectrum along with a distinct lack of social media posts about the events that took place shortly after the ceremony.

“Normally I’d just side with the Republican, no matter what”, said  @MAGATrump2020Voter on Twitter, “but in this  case I don’t know, considering the gayness and all.  Then again, the restaurant was Christian-themed, so there’s that to take in.  What’s that?  The waitress was muslim?  Christ, this is hard!”

Stacy Williams, a local student, told us :”I’m totally against people refusing to serve gay wedding cakes but I’m afraid in this case I can’t because the waitress is Muslim and that would make me a racist I guess.  On the other hand, the couple is Black/Hispanic so it can’t be racist to stand up for them…?  Or can it?  I’m stumped…”

We also reached out to various feminist and LGTBQ organisations for their opinion but they were still debating if the transgender waitress should be classified as a man or a woman and whether a marriage could even really be considered gay if it was done at a Christian restaurant.

According to the latest reports most people are still waiting for President Trump to weigh via his Twitter account in so they can fiercely oppose or wholeheartedly support whatever his take on the matter is.

Photo credit: By Davidlud [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or CC BY-SA 2.5], from Wikimedia Commons

MOSCOW – To eliminate all possible fraud FIFA has instituted very strict anti-doping measures at this year’s World Cup in Russia.  A recent test of the urine samples from the Russian team has produced some truly shocking results.

Thorough analysis revealed at least 80% of the samples submitted by Russia’s players had traces of synthetic oil and hydraulic fluids in them, leading to questions about the humanity of several of them.

Experts are now saying it is 99.9% likely at least some of the team members are nothing more than Russian bots.  These suspicions were proven correct after secret footage leaked from the training compound of the Russian team:

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Yeah, we fooled you.

Don’t fall for suggestive headlines from websites you’ve never heard of.  That’s a tactic used by many fake news websites that want you to like and share their article without even reading it so even more people get to see it on Facebook.

Fortunately this website is a fake fake news website and we’re not out to make money from you by spamming you with tons of annoying pop-up ads at this point.

Congratulations if you’ve read this far!  Celebrate by leaving a comment on Facebook with some kind of robot noise in it (“beep”, “boop”, “whirrrr”…) so you can see which of the other commenters are just mindless bots who haven’t read the article.

Doctors and big pharma don’t want you to know this but a new treatment can blow away tumors from 500 yards away.  An investigation revealed that with the right aim this treatment is guaranteed to kill cancer cells with 100% effectiveness.

The miracle cure is being produced by a company named Armalite and it is already on sale on the open market in most of the United States (although many places still require a background check that includes mental health history before it can be given out).

The name of the treatment?

The AR-15 rifle.

By M62 – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

Shoot a cancer patient with one and all cancer cells in their body are guaranteed to die (along with all their other cells, an unfortunate side-effect).

Don’t want to pay full price?  Generic and knockoff versions are also available, most notably the Russian AK-74 or the Chinese Type 56 (note that these haven’t been approved by the FDA [1]).

What?

Did you expect a small, unknown website to have real information about a secret new way to treat cancer?

Here’s a secret for you: most articles pushing miracle cancer cures are based on preliminary research that proved something can kill cancer cells in a petri dish.  That’s not very hard to do: burning cancer cells, freezing them, poisoning them… all of those will kill cancer cells quite nicely.

The problem is when those cancer cells are still inside a person.  These treatments will kill the patient too (just like an AR-15 would).

Developing real and working cures for all various types of cancer that exist is a long process that takes years of study and experimentation to make absolutely sure the side-effects of the cure don’t kill the patient.

Always be skeptical when you see a website pushing “alternative” ways of curing something.  Often these remedies have not been tested and they may not even be effective.  And the sites pushing them might just be trying to earn some advertising money by exploiting desperate people.

Don’t fall for it!

Notes:

[1] The AR-15 hasn’t been approved by the FDA as a treatment for cancer either.

Some websites can expect huge fines after blocking European visitors for GDPR compliance reasons according to some experts we spoke to.

There was a big uproar in Europe this morning as people tried to reach websites like the LA Times or the Chicago Tribune and were presented with a message saying the sites were unavailable in their region:

It looks like all Tronc newspapers like the LA Times and Chicago Tribune are GDPR non-compliant, so all traffic from Europe is hitting this wall pic.twitter.com/vTuy902DZv

— Jon Passantino (@passantino) May 25, 2018

This follows the activation of the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) imposed by the European Union.  The legislation is intended to forbid the processing of personal information without consent.

However experts said they believe these sites have blatantly violated the GDPR by blocking European visitors: the only technical way to do this involved storing and processing the IP addresses of the visitors.  IP addresses are considered personal data and the processing clearly happened without the consent of the visitors.

It is expected the sites will have to pay huge fines.  The GDPR can impose following sactions for non-compliance:

a fine up to €10 million or up to 2% of the annual worldwide turnover of the preceding financial year in case of an enterprise, whichever is greater, if there has been an infringement of the following provisions: (Article 83, Paragraph 5 & 6)

Asked for their names the experts refused to give us their consent to store and process them citing GDPR concerns.  Since we don’t feel like paying a huge fine we agreed to keep them anonymous.

Hello?

Yeah, all of the above is what you would call male bovine excrement.  We made it all up.  Processing personal data without consent may now be illegal in the EU but creating fake news is still allowed, even for us, a fake fake news site.

Never immediately trust news coming from small, unknown websites you’ve never heard of, especially if they start quoting legal mumbo jumbo or use anonymous experts as a source.  Do your own research, check multiple sources and make sure they are credible.

P.S.: No personal data was harmed in the making of this article.

Washington D.C. — BOOM!  What a bombshell. They’ll never recover from this one, clearly it is all over now.  Panic has set in over Washington after it went down on live television.   Shut down in just one amazing stroke.  Who would have expected this one little thing to happen?  They got blindsided completely and never saw it coming.

D.C. insiders are still reeling after the announcement was dropped without warning.  All hell truly broke loose, it was awesome to watch their shocked reactions as all these awful, disgusting and heartbreaking things were fully exposed for all to see.  They completely lost it when they got called out in a brutally humiliating way in an on-air meltdown of epic proportions.

Finally an investigation that delivered the goods.  No longer can the media ignore it thanks to the stunning move that was just pulled.  It was the surprise of a lifetime for many who hadn’t been paying attention.  This shocker has them running scared after a major blow that will end them for a lifetime.

Things just went nuclear with this bold initiative, this will break them completely.  It was the perfect response to those just running their mouths disrespecting everything we hold sacred: this epic comeback effectively silenced them for good.  They embarassed themselves by letting everyone see them for the worthless shills they are.

You won’t believe how they responded immediately after being busted.  “This is bad folks”, an official was overheard saying according to sources.  But fortunately their reaction backfired immediately.   The simple fact that it failed miserably has them furious with anger right now.

Check below the video for the full rundown of what happened… [DETAILS]

Did all the above sound familiar?  And are you not really sure which Washington scandal this is even about?  That’s okay, we aren’t sure either.  We just lifted some random words and phrases from some real hyperpartisan political clickbait websites in order to write the ultimate political clickbait story.

Many sites (often not even based in the United States) will happily take any news report about anything happening in American politics and turn it into “shocking” or “breaking” news by using very loaded language.  Congresswoman X pointing out a small issue with a proposed bill from Congressman Y during a speech on C-SPAN?  That becomes:

“Congresswoman X DESTROYS Y On Live Television! [Details]”.

While it may feel good to like and share such stories on social media ultimately it helps nobody but the scam artists running these websites.  And eventually it will hurt the credibility of the people who share these stories after their friends and familiy actually click through to all these “bombshells” and find out it is just about some minor drama nobody cares for.

Far better to look up a reliable news source using neutral language and share the story from there.  Save the feelings for the comments.

Liked this story?  Leave a comment on Facebook that mentions an animal.  That will help the other commenters work out who actually took the effort to read all the way to the end of the article and who is just getting all excited about a non-existent Washington scandal.  Don’t be a sheep!

Photo credit: Daniel Huizinga

Forget about Facebook: is it a stretch to call this collusion?  Investigators have been looking at Russian interference in U.S. elections and have been digging for evidence of collaboration between political campaigns and the Russian government.  But so far Silicon Valley seems to have mostly escaped their attention (with the exception of Facebook of course).

That’s why we at Forbidden Facts ran our own investigation.  You just can’t trust the news on the internet anymore these days. Don’t believe what they spoon-feed you through your timeline, do your own research so they can’t keep the truth away from you.

What we found was shocking to say the least.  We opened our Chrome browser (made by Google!) and entered incognito mode so the mind control satellites couldn’t see what we were doing.  What happened next shocked us to our core, so much we had to record it on video so we could use it as evidence later:

They weren’t even trying to hide it: if you type “Kremlin” into Google they’ll show you pages and pages of Kremlin links.  Google has Kremlin links!

Not only that but when we went onto Amazon.com to search for Trump ties it turned out they actually had them!

Amazon has Trump ties!

But that’s not all.  Microsoft has a service that helps developers create chatbots for use on various websites or services.  Sounds innocent enough, right?  But wait until you hear what we found in their bot directory, which is openly accessible on their website:

Would you believe it?  Microsoft has Russian bots! 

Oh, and one more thing we discovered in the tech world.  Stop the presses!

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Sometimes websites like Forbidden Facts take real things and totally pull them out of context to create a wrong impression with their headlines.  We are not entirely sure if there are other websites out there that do this, but we’ll keep investigating.  Let us know in the comments if you spot any other examples…

Well, that didn’t take long!  Only days after it came out that shady consulting company Cambridge Analytica had harvested the Facebook data of millions of people, hackers seem to have already leaked a ton of it.

As The Guardian first reported:

Revealed: 50 million Facebook profiles harvested for Cambridge Analytica in major data breach

The data analytics firm that worked with Donald Trump’s election team and the winning Brexit campaign harvested millions of Facebook profiles of US voters, in one of the tech giant’s biggest ever data breaches, and used them to build a powerful software program to predict and influence choices at the ballot box.

Via this link “http://bit.ly/CambridgeAnalyticaLeak” you can see exactly what Cambridge Analytica and Facebook know about you.  Everything on that page is stored on Zuckerberg’s servers and can be analyzed by marketeers, political consultants and advertisers at will.  Scary?  You bet!

Now what?

The first thing to do after such a data breach is to make sure you know exactly how you were affected.  We built this handy tool you can use to check how much of your information was in the breach.  Just fill out this form and we’ll look it up for you:

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What!

Wow, you weren’t seriously thinking of putting anything in that form, were you?  Or maybe you did and you saw this image appear instead of a report on your stolen data:

Because you really have to be an idiot to still put any sort of personal information into any forms or apps you just found out about through Facebook.

Fortunately Forbidden Facts is a fake fake news site and we didn’t store any of your data.  And we won’t sell it to any scary political consultants or marketing people, promise.  Just be more careful next time!

(Oh, and that http://bit.ly/CambridgeAnalyticaLeak link?  That just goes to a special page at Facebook that redirects you back to your own profile if you are logged in.  But yes, marketeers and advertisers really can use almost all of the data found on it to target you with advertising based on your preferences.  And that is scary and you should keep that in mind when sharing and liking things on Facebook.)

It’s 1776 all over again but this time it is a proud tribe with a long history that is disolving the bonds with the government which they feel is no longer representing them. In ancient times they used to control an empire spanning continents but steady invasions from the East reduced their territory to just a sliver of what it once was. You can see their flag and an outline of what remains of their current lands in the picture above this post.

The name of this once great empire and the people who live in it might surprise you…

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…for it is Macedonia and the Macedonians. And this tiny Eastern-European country is not really declaring independence, we made that up. They’ve actually been independent since 1991 already so why should they do it again, right?

But did you know an increasing number of Facebook pages that post about Native American themes, issues and art are actually run from places like Macedonia, Albania, Kosovo or even Vietnam? It’s true! Web savvy entrepreneurs and kids looking to make some pocket money have built up dozens of sites and Facebook pages pretending they are Native Americans because a certain audience just loves to read about them.  Often the people who run these sites are the same ones running fake news websites and they are using the same types of tricks: stolen content, dodgy ads, ever-changing domain names…

Facebook pulled down several pages pretending to represent Native Americans that push fake news. There’s more to go.

UPDATE: Since the publication of this article, all of the Facebook pages identified by Media Matters have been taken down. Facebook has removed multiple pages that pretended to represent Native Americans but were actually pushing fake news stories linked to websites seemingly from Kosovo. However, a Media Matters review found that the network runs much deeper.

We can only imagine how the real Native Americans must feel about this:

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Really want to help?  Read this excellent article on how to spot fake Native American pages on Facebook.  Next time you see one of these articles on Facebook, don’t like or share it, report it! (But do feel free to like and share this particular article to teach others about the issue of Fake Native Americans…)

For an ongoing social issue awareness campaign a nationally known PR company is looking for new hires to participate in their next staged mass casualty event.  They are looking for fresh faces wanting to make a start in the world of grief-acting and emoting in front of a national audience.  Candidates must be willing to travel and should preferably be articulate and understandable (no heavy accents, English only).

If you are interested in the position, please contact our recruitment agent (contact info at the bottom of the page).  Journalists need not apply. Discreet candidates only.

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What?  Did you really believe all that?

Why?

What kind of a conspiracy would put out public ads?  Ads that spell out the word “FALSE” no less. Read the list of categories of people wanted again, from top to bottom, and only look at the first letter:

• Female bystanders
• African-American fathers
• Latino teachers
• Special needs children
• Elementary school aged children

And even if a PR company (or anyone else) would want to set up a fake school shooting or some other massacre, what would they have to gain by using actors?  Wouldn’t first responders notice immediately the victims weren’t real?  And if they used fake first responders too, wouldn’t the real police get suspicious really quick about all those cars with flashing blue lights showing up on their turf?

Oh, but what if they only used some fake mourners and family and made the killer and the victims and the first responders real?

What purpose would that serve?  Wouldn’t the real people involved in such a tragedy cry in front of the camera?  And if you are looking for people among the survivors and their families that want to ban or restrict guns after such a trauma I’m pretty sure you could find a few real ones without much effort.

It would literally be a waste of money to hire actors for that and it would add a huge risk of discovery for little benefit.  Most conspiracies aren’t that dumb.  The people who believe in them on the other hand…

Do you agree?  Leave a comment on Facebook asking about the benefits and conditions of the job to show that you did read all the way to the end of the article.  For example: “What are the hours like?” or “Is it unionized?”

Pedophiles are universally hated.  When one is discovered in a local community tempers can run very high, very quickly.  Just reading or hearing about the attrocious acts perpetrated by these monsters can make your stomach churn even though you don’t know anything about the victims or perpetrators on a personal level.  A burning desire for justice takes over: such evil deeds should not go unpunished!

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And that is exactly what many fake news websites are counting on: an angry reader is far less likely to check if something actually happened before hitting that “like”, “share” or “upvote” button out of a desire to see justice done.

This post is the perfect example: all it took to get you to click was the word “pedophile”, a screenshot from the 1971 movie “A Clockwork Orange” and two random stock photos of some knives and some white-hot embers.  Sorry to disappoint you but there is no “local pedophile” and nothing happened to him.

A “real” fake news website would now be bombarding you with various pop-up ads, banners and dodgy redirects insisting you just won in iPhone or that you should urgently install some software to fix your computer or get rid of a virus.  Fortunately you are visiting a fake fake news website that only wants to expose the truth behind the dirty tricks used by actual fake news sites.

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Don’t believe this is a real tactic used by fake news websites?  Check out some lists of fake pedophile stories at fact checking websites Lead Stories, Snopes or That’s Nonsense.  You’ll see there are countless examples of false stories circulating online that were only written to make a quick buck from a gullible audience.

Note: we are not saying pedophiles aren’t real or that child prostitution and human trafficking of minors does not happen.  But you should get your news about it from people who actually check the facts and provide evidence, not from dodgy websites aiming to scam you and your online friends for advertising dollars via emotional tricks.

Secret:

Now that you are in on the secret these scammers should have a much harder time tricking you with their made up stories.  Want to know another secret?  Everybody who replied to this post on social media or forums with a comment that says they “saw” something or that something was “seen” by someone is in on the truth.  All the other ones obviously didn’t read the article.

Want in?  Comment something like “I see now…” or “Man, I never expected to see that” or “More people should see this…” or “Bet he never saw that coming…”. But ssssh, don’t tell anyone: it is a secret after all!