MOSCOW – To eliminate all possible fraud FIFA has instituted very strict anti-doping measures at this year’s World Cup in Russia.  A recent test of the urine samples from the Russian team has produced some truly shocking results.

Thorough analysis revealed at least 80% of the samples submitted by Russia’s players had traces of synthetic oil and hydraulic fluids in them, leading to questions about the humanity of several of them.

Experts are now saying it is 99.9% likely at least some of the team members are nothing more than Russian bots.  These suspicions were proven correct after secret footage leaked from the training compound of the Russian team:

via GIPHY

Yeah, we fooled you.

Don’t fall for suggestive headlines from websites you’ve never heard of.  That’s a tactic used by many fake news websites that want you to like and share their article without even reading it so even more people get to see it on Facebook.

Fortunately this website is a fake fake news website and we’re not out to make money from you by spamming you with tons of annoying pop-up ads at this point.

Congratulations if you’ve read this far!  Celebrate by leaving a comment on Facebook with some kind of robot noise in it (“beep”, “boop”, “whirrrr”…) so you can see which of the other commenters are just mindless bots who haven’t read the article.